Twitterati clinch publishing deal

There’s no stopping the twitterati. Two University of Chicago undergraduates, Emmett Rensin and Alex Aciman, have landed a publishing deal to twitter the classics of literature.

Except what they’ve got in mind is actually a very long-winded twitter. The whole point of a tweet is that it reduces everything to 140 characters, yet Rensin and Aciman reckon on using 20 tweets per book. You either tweet in one or you don’t bother. Here are a few to get them started . . .
 
Pride and Prejudice: Jane Austen
“Good day Miss Bennet.” “Good day Mr Darcy.” “Goodbye Miss Bennet.” “Goodbye Mr Darcy.” Will they, won’t they? Duh! Of course they will.

Madame Bovary: Gustave Flaubert
Bof I despise my mari’s provincialism. Give me glitter et amour. “Tu es too high maintenance,” said Leon et Rodolphe. Alors I kill moi-meme.

Howards End: EM Forster
“We lost your money, Bast,” Helen wept. “Have a pity shag.” “And I forgive Mr Wilcox his dalliance,” said Margaret. Modernity is so tiring.

In Search of Lost Time: Marcel Proust
I really don’t feel at all well. I can hardly get out of bed. Do you remember that smell of the madeleine? Those were the days, eh?

The Trial: Franz Kafka
It’s a stitch-up, I tell you. They’re out to get me. I’m not paranoid. Come in Mr K your time is up. Oh shit, I’m guilty of something.

Of Mice and Men: John Steinbeck
“Aw, Lennie. First you squash the mouse and now you’ve gone and squashed the girl. I’m gonna have to kill you.” “What about the rabbits?”—