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Seventh-day adventurer

STEVE SMITH | JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA - Nov 20 2009 15:50

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There are some issues that we humans cannot reach agreement on. Should we allow capital punishment ... should healthcare be free ... and do any Mercedes-Benz GL owners actually ever take their very expensive cars off-road? Such are the moral intricacies and social implications of these debates that, in such instances, no earthly judge can make the call and we’re forced to call on a higher power for arbitration.

Standing on the one side of the scale, dressed in their white lab coats, clutching carbon-fibre clipboards with thumbs poised over the clickers of brushed aluminium ballpoint pens, are Stuttgart’s finest motoring engineers. A curt nod not only indicates the utmost confidence in their car's ability to handle the most testing off-road terrain, but that this is also something its owners will actually be doing.

"Rubbish!" comes the bawdy chorus opposite. That's us, the motoring hacks. Wearing one of the thousand branded golf shirts purloined from one of the thousand car launches we've been to, our vocal cynicism has been slow-brewed from one part experience and two parts free bar tab.

The debate has been ping-ponging back and forth since Mercedes-Benz first launched the GL at the Detroit Motor Show back in 2006. The seven-seater luxury SUV comes with a sophisticated four-wheel drive system that includes low range and two diff locks as standard. In theory it should climb mountains.

Well, thanks to the launch of the GL facelift, the debate has finally been settled. Merc's biggest SUV has just been given a subtle aesthetic once-over, though you’d be hard pressed to spot the differences on the two models available in South Africa.

Frankly, figuring out why Merc has done them is a bit of a head-scratcher. Is it a better car? Well, no. Mechanically and electronically, it's exactly the same. Same engine with the same power output, same 4-matic all-wheel drive system coupled to the same 7G-tronic gearbox.

And what a successful formula it's been. In the 37 months since its sale date Merc has shifted more than 100 000 GLs worldwide and here in South Africa, with a sticker price of about R800 000, they've increased their market share from 12% in 2007 to 19% in 2009.

Recession reschmession.

Why then bother making aesthetic changes so subtle that no one's really going to notice? I don't know, maybe it's to get us golf-shirt wearers to write stuff about it -- after all, those guys in the white lab coats are very clever.

CONTINUES BELOW

Back to the debate.
So, will anyone who has forked out somewhere between R860 000 and R990 000 for an SUV ever take it off-road? And by off-road, we don't mean a gravel road or the pavement of a shopping mall.

The answer, I can now confirm, is an unequivocal "no". It's a capital letter No because it came from the Big Guy. For the facelifted GL launch, we drove to the little Free State town of Clarens, where we were invited to test the GL's 4x4 capabilities on an off-road jaunt. Quite literally, the moment the first tyre left the tarmac, we were hit by what can only be described as "apocalyptic" weather. Within minutes day was turned into night by the thickest, blackest blanket of clouds you've ever seen. This was followed shortly by rain and hail that travelled horizontally, pummelling the passenger side of our very expensive convoy. In seconds a whole lot of very expensive road tyre-shod Mercs were sliding sideways down the hills of the Korannaberg. End of 4x4 trip.

If that wasn't a sign from above then I don't know what would be.

And the Big Guy is absolutely right. Aside from maybe taking the ski boat down to the jetty or lugging the family to the holiday house in the Berg, no one's going to explore the limits of the GL's low-range abilities. There are far more interesting things to do with a car that's not only luxurious and spacious, but also has bullet-proof build quality and a panzer-like profile. You can take the kids to the mall for a bit of a shop. Or you can invade Poland.

FAST FACTS

Price: GL 350CDI R860 000
Engine: 2 987cc V6 turbo-diesel
Tech: 165kW, 510Nm
Top speed: 210kph, 0-100kph in 9.5s
Fuel consumption: 9.3 to 9.4l/100km

Price: GL 500 R990 000
Engine: 5 461cc V8 petrol
Tech: 285kW, 530Nm
Top speed: 240kph, 0-100kph in 6.5s
Fuel consumption: 13,6 to 13,8l/100km
Service plan/warranty: MobiloDrive 120 maintenance contract available as standard on all Mercedes-Benz passenger cars

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