THE SMART NEWS SOURCE | Feb 10 2010 03:06 | LAST UPDATED Feb 10 2010 03:06

ADVERTISE WITH US | CONTACT US | STORY TIP-OFFS | M&G NEWSLETTER

Valencia Talane \| Opinion \| Columnists

The heroes among us

VALENCIA TALANE - Nov 25 2009 06:00

7 comments | Post your comment

I write this column as a tribute to all the women, young and old, from all walks of life, who have touched my life, most of them without knowing it. Some of them were in my life for a brief (but nevertheless blessed) encounter, while others always featured in the background, but had a distinct effect on me.

As much as this tribute is in light of Wednesday being the launch of the 16 Days of Activism Against Women and Child Abuse, it is also about the day-to-day heroes who live among us, but whose stories will go untold.

I feel indebted to these women, some of whose names I never came round to finding out, but who left such an impression on me that I carry the memories with me.

These are just some their stories:

One morning while I was still a student I boarded a taxi in Benoni bound for Johannesburg. One of the other passengers was a woman, of slight build, who had so much luggage with her that it took up the space of two people. She incurred some abuse from a group of taxi drivers outside the taxi who could not understand why, if she was determined to travel with so much stuff, she did not hire a van or truck to transport it to her final destination, Lesotho.

She did not answer any of their questions, and disregarded their brutal remarks, all the while carefully placing each item in the taxi. When finally done, and the taxi was full and heading out of the rank, it became clear that she did not have enough money to pay for herself as well as the two spots occupied by her luggage.

After a brief altercation with the driver, followed by one generous passenger's offer to pay for her luggage, order was restored in the vehicle, much to the woman's relief. Upon prompting from the rest of the taxi, she told her story: she was running away from her abusive and unfaithful husband and taking everything he owned and valued -- just to spite him.

Her children were in Lesotho, and she'd finally decided that she'd rather get back to them while she could still find work and provide for them, than live under the shadow and abuse of the man who "claims to love them but brings another woman home to sleep with while I am there".

Needless to say, the entire taxi -- occupied front-to-back by women, would you believe -- was shocked at her brevity and courage. The driver's attempt to defend all men was met with harsh words, and he was warned to keep his male mouth shut, or else!

CONTINUES BELOW

I watched while, one after the other, the women in the taxi started to take out their purses, handing money to a self-appointed director and treasurer of the luggage woman's very own "taxi fund", and giving it to her, along with praise for her courage and advice on getting on with her life, for the sake of her children.

I got off the taxi before the luggage woman did, along with an elderly woman who made the driver promise that he would drop her off at the very spot where she could find taxis to Lesotho. I don't know how the rest of her journey went, but I was in awe at the manner in which she was received and celebrated by complete strangers.

In another encounter a few years later, I met a woman who had survived a family-suicide-gone-wrong, and lived to tell the tale. This woman's husband, I was told by a friend while we sat across the room from her at a children's party, had had enough. He had apparently been planning the suicide for a while, and this was evident in the details that came out after his death of the changes he'd made to his insurance policies and his final will and testament in the months leading up to the incident.

The shooting occurred on a weekday morning, and by the time the woman's colleagues started suspecting something was wrong -- she had not pitched up at the primary school where she taught -- her husband was dead and she was lying next to him, conscious of having escaped death, but unable to move towards the phone.

She was eventually rescued by her colleagues and recovered physically from the ordeal, but whether she has fully recovered mentally, is another question.

She did, however, leave her teaching job to start a small business. I never saw her again after the party, but her courageous triumph over her circumstances remains with me as a lesson on moving on after a tragedy and facing the rest of your life the best way you can, one challenge at a time.

I may not know where these women's lives have taken them, but I hope they are well and making waves around them. I hope there are young girls (and boys) who are benefiting from knowing these brave members of society.

Who are your women heroes?

View more on our special report on 16 days of activism here.

TOPICS IN THIS ARTICLE

Comments

Great tribute to the fortitude of women. Thanks, Valencia.

pat nelson on November 25, 2009, 9:27 am

Two thumbs up, Valencia!!!

Astrid Deeley on November 25, 2009, 1:53 pm

Beautifully said Valencia. A true inspiration to read!

Vanessa Lategan on November 25, 2009, 3:16 pm

Valencia you are creative, your memory is still good, your story is similar to many stories in our country. The problem is one most of the people are afraid to come forward and speaks their mind you see, therefore, thumbs up my sister, speak to all who are speechless. Thank you very much for saying, thank you to the people who have helps the womens you have mentioned above. In life we have come across predicament situations, which sometimes we fail even to handle it. But I also like to say something concerning our mothers, sisters, aunts even our grand mothers that bear in minds that God loves you all, so, do not forget to pray to God. God is the solution of every problem.

Gift Mashele on November 25, 2009, 5:27 pm

Your story has cast light where there was once darkness... speak for those who are unable or who are too afraid to speak... Let your voice be the key that unlocks the lock so many may be free of the chains that bind them...

Count Kaz Vickerman on November 26, 2009, 12:10 am

Truly inspiring article. Thanks.

Meryl B on November 26, 2009, 11:47 am

@author, thank you once again for choosing such an appropriate subject and also for chipping away at this image that we need icons and superstars to be our heroes. All of us have personal experiences of others in our midst who have led by example. Some of these are family members, parents,church leaders or any other ORDINARY COMMUNITY MEMBER. And in how many instances, were we impressed by the strength of a mother, a father or even a sibling and used that as our frame of reference to do good or better. It is those little lessons that makes leaders of ordinary people in our communities. It is us as ordinary communities who support these people simply because we believe that they are able to carry out extraordinary tasks and we support them for the greater good. Of late we have had so many false heroes and pretenders paraded before us. They strut before us, preening their unbelievable egos as if they are the messiahs who have some extraordinary secret gospel to preach to us. And yet, if you measure their influence on the greater good on society you will find nothing. We must get away from these false heroes and look closely at OURSELVES. WHEN ARE WE GOING TO BECOME OUR OWN HEROES? You have seen the good and it has been shown to you in more instances than you care to count. Ultimately, when will we as citizens take those eg and build on them? Its good and well to point fingers and expect others to be heroes but what about us? When last have we impressed someone thereby contributing to this overarching requirement to do good whenever it is required of us?

Kitty Kat on November 26, 2009, 1:30 pm

You must be logged in to comment. Log in or sign up to comment

click here to log in

M&G Online Comment Guidelines In Brief

No hate speech;
No racist, sexist or homophobic remarks;
Keep it short;
Keep it on topic;
Show respect to all;
We reserve the right to remove or delete any comment without notice or reason.

Click here for the full Comment Guidelines

Advertising Links

Click hereÖ

Your M&G Online

Follow the Mail & Guardian on Twitter!

Direct message us on our mailandguardian account to chat to the M&G Online team.


		THIS WEEK'S PAPER Subscribe Subs promotions Get digital edition

Advertising links

OUDE MEESTER INSURANCE JUNCTION PROPERTY FOR SALE INTERNET SOLUTIONS COMPAQ LAPTOPS	MAP SEARCH HOLIDAY FINDER BID OR BUY INSURANCE YOU CAN TRUST

The heroes among us

M&G Online Comment Guidelines In Brief

Your M&G Online

Advertisements

Advertising links